I sincerely hope that you can look forward to a new day starting again.
I know quite well from very distant, now-past experience that this seems impossible, particularly if you are experiencing the deepest throes of mental illness, as I did as a young man, newly diagnosed after leaving the Catholic seminary.
Know that there is help out there. I sought God first for what I didn't understand at the time to be the effects of childhood depression and mood swings later in college.
This eventually led me to accept help from good mental health professionals (I never accepted help from the bad ones).
I am grateful to have an excellent family doctor as well as a very good psychiatric provider. I assure you, most of them have been very good over the years.
I have been blessed also with some good, long-time friendships.
If you are reading this post, know that I am praying for you in writing it.
I can only express what has and hasn't "worked" for me in all of this, and I know that each of us is a unique person with unique experiences and situations.
God bless you, my friend.

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