Remembering a turning point in my mental health

In 2004, ten years after I was diagnosed with my mental health condition, I experienced a minor miracle that led to a major improvement in the trajectory that I had been headed on.

That whole previous decade had been spent moving from place to place, from one job to another, and cycling through hospitals with little or no progress.

I had ended up back at home with my parents in 2000, having been defeated once again.

I was immediately asked to serve on the local county mental health board as their consumer member, which I eagerly accepted. (I ended up successfully serving for two full terms, which was 8 years total.)

At the same time in 2000, I was asked to teach a mental health recovery class sponsored by NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill)

From 2000 to 2004, I felt like a total hypocrite, again having to be hospitalized a couple more times during that time.

One major common denominator in all the previous 10 years of relapses was the fact that at some point in each deterioration, I stopped taking my medication and would, quite frankly, wind up somewhere close to hell, another dead end.

In the summer of 2004, I was in my bedroom, and the anxiety and racing thoughts started to kick in again. I acutely felt that dreaded spiraling cycle in me again. I recognized at that point that if I were to run again it would be that same living death and dead end. 

I distinctly remember praying to God and making the decision at that crucial point to stay on my medication.

I told God that I was going to give the medication a chance to work, and I went out on our back porch, where my dad was sitting, and told him that I needed to get to the emergency room to be treated.

That ability to make that decision at that crucial point, I consider to be a minor miracle.

I was treated for a month in the hospital, and though that was difficult, as it always is, my life improved dramatically from that point forward.

I had broken through to the other side and was allowing God to heal me with the help of modern medicine. No more doubts.

I have remained medication compliant to this day, some 22 years later.

What works for me?

 

I often ask myself that question about the direction my life is taking.

What is working for me and the converse of that, namely, what isn't?

Can I give a concrete example of what I am talking about?

Okay, I have some goals, long-term and short-term, that I have laid out over the years and recently that I would like to accomplish in my lifetime. They are personal yet very practical.

One such goal is to remain mentally and spiritually balanced for the remainder of my life.

I have found that one of the keys to doing that successfully over the years has been my religious use of medications to help manage my bipolar disorder.

About 22 years ago, I was granted a minor miracle by Our Lord when I made a decision to give the psychotropic medications that I was being prescribed a real chance to help me by staying on them through a crisis I had been having at the time.

One of the key elements of my religious life that allowed me to do that was my devotion to the Catholic sacramental way of life, particularly the worthy reception of the Eucharist, or Holy Communion, according to the rules of the Church.

I was granted a grace to be able to see my medications (and, in fact, so much of our lives) in a sacramental way.

A sacrament is a religious ceremony or ritual regarded as imparting divine grace, and grace is ultimately the help we receive from God.

So, I was able to see the medication as something that might help me (a grace) as I have been helped by God all my life through the Holy Sacraments of the Church since my baptism as an infant.

Is my life perfect? NO!

Am I making real progress toward my goals? YES.

Real, measurable progress.

What was the title of this post?

"What works for me?"

I think that is a very reasonable question to ask myself now and then.

Have a great day today.

You DO deserve it! (In my humble opinion.)